Why does my brain always decide to go into overdrive late at night?
As kids, most of us have a fear of monsters lurking under our beds or hiding in our closets, waiting for our parents to be away before they creep out into the shadows to torment us. Now instead of nameless monsters, the "what if's" and "should have's" are the ones that plague us when left to our own devices. What if I do things this way next semester? I should have handled that situation differently. What if I can't repair that friendship? I should have helped out more throughout my life. The list can go on and on... not just for me but for everyone. I can't possible be the only one in this world wasting sleep over things that are out of my control... at least in those wee hours of the early morning in most cases. And with each ongoing insomniac battle, I loose a little more mental sanity to cope with everything later on. These small little creatures morph into oppressing monsters in the shadows... waiting for me to be on my own. But at the same time... I'd rather face them then stuff them back under my bed to cohabit with the dust bunnies. Those darn bunnies will teach them more than they need to know about rabbity ways... soon my problems will have jumped in population from a few to a thousand... just because I'm too scared to face them one on one when I can actually handle them as they happen. Ok.... Even I probably won't understand this ridiculous rambling metaphor in the morning. But all I can really say is:
Welcome to my reality.
